The Epic ListWe know epic when we see it ... so shut up!

This is a list of everything we find epic. Just to clarify ... E-P-I-C! What exactly does that mean?

Well, let me enlighten you my faithful reader, it's something that changes your perception on life, something that is truly grand in freaking scale. Got it?

And we are the final judges on all things epic. So if you think you've found something epic, shut up ... send it to us and we'll tell if you if it's truly E-P-I-C.


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"The Simpsons Movie" ads

The Simpsons MovieHey, did you know that there's a movie based on "The Simpsons" opening soon? It might even be today, I think. Who knows.

Who knows? You knows, that's who. There have been big movies with big ad campaigns, but I'll be damned if there was ever one that had as much cram-it-down-your-throat-ness as this movie has. What was the budget for the movie. I'm curious. $40 million? $50? I really don't know. What was the budget for the advertising? I'll tell you: way too damn much.

Now, don't get me wrong: I love "The Simpsons," even the crappy 11th, 12th and 13th seasons. But when was the last time that a convenience store chain converted stores to look like the shops in a program?* I don't recall them changing the NYC Port Authority into a Mos Eisley space port when STAR WARS prequels were coming out (and that's despite the fact that the NYC Port Authority is a wretched hive of scum and villainy). And do you dare turn on FOX this summer? You dare not. You'll be subjected to repeated ads between commercials, small dancing figures in the corner of the screen during programming, and groups of armed men breaking into your home and demanding that you pre-order tickets via Moviefone. Okay, maybe not that last one.

So, in the end, what do we have?

"The Simpsons Movie" Verdict: WHO KNOWS avatarsfsimpson.jpg

"The Simpsons Movie" advertising Verdict: EPIC EPIC!

*NOTE: Don't be a baby and say "I don't know what you're talking about... give me a link." I'm not linking to the f@#$ing over linked images of Krusty cereal and Apu cardboard cutouts so that you can say, "Oh. Huh."